I am here now!
I have pushed and moved ahead.
I was not here before this time,
Before I pushed myself to come and be in this moment of closure with my feelings and living what I truly want.
I have failed! I failed to know and understand the importance of conversation between the soul and the body of the purpose they have come to fulfill for….
I have failed so hard, sometimes I tried to fail because that was quickest I could see and do.
I tried to get sick; so much that I sank myself into unreasonable thoughts of self-inflicted pain and illness.
I tried to be miserable, so much that I was in pool of mess and things I didn’t actually wanted to do at first place.
I tried to be quiet and not speak, so much that the silence let me hear the noises inside me louder than the noises around.
I tried to abandon my dreams, as efficiently as the trees shed the dried leaves. Oh just that easy!
Don’t know how far I have gone trying so hard to unfollow my soul!
But I couldn’t, I just couldn’t win in this!
This was the only battle I was happy to lose.
To lose the battle of unfollowing my souls purpose !
I was happy to know I didn’t have to try more hard to lose this battle. I have done a good job being miserable you see !
I wanted to lose! So I could win and follow my authentic soul.
This time though it made me happy..
To fail.. .
I failed in this to unfollow my soul, not because I had to!
Not because I choose to!
Not because I was naïve to lose again!
I failed, because my soul was too strong to handle my nonsense.
It said “oh you merely know how much power you have! You have the power from and of the creator of this magical Universe! You don’t get to win here! I have seen enough of your oh-I-can’t-do-that! Thing , now you just have to buckle up and simplify things in your life. You fail in this battle but my dear you have won yourself a truly new world!”
And with every shredded tear, I choose to let go of all this miserableness and my fears…
I came so far, watching myself fail and win again!
Sometimes it’s enriching and nurturing, other times it uncomfortable, painful and breaking.
There’s more to striving hard, more than it appears to one person from outside.
There is this battle of an entire universe inside!
You gotta trust yourself and follow your soul or you call it instincts, gut, inner power, heart, whatever just gets the point and start trusting yourself again!
You may have lost many things and lost too many and even lost many people.
Well don’t stop there dear!
You know you have come so far because that soul inside you didn’t live up with your fears and that shit of negativity you grew!
It has not let lose of faith on you! Don’t you dare do it too!
Live up to what you truly believe in!
♥ Love, Light & Power ♥
♥ Love & Light ♥